Full name: Perkins
Pronunciation: PUR-kinz
Gender: Male
Height: 1.85 m
Mass: 77.9 kg
Homeworld: Brunsun
Occupation: Corporate businessman
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Perkins is a businessman from the planet Brunsun, currently under the employ of Evil & Sons. He's deeply devoted to his boss, Mr Evil, and ruthlessly efficient in his work. His job description changes from one day to the next, but he never fails to respond to whatever challenges life throws his way. He spends his work days sitting at his desk drafting reports and policies, or otherwise marching around the office telling contractors what to do, clipboard in one hand and mug of black coffee in the other. At the end of his shift, he goes home to his family and spends the rest of the night drumming his fingers, longing for morning when he can return to the office.

Being someone who can put his hand to anything, Perkins considers himself something of a savant. Whilst Mr Evil kicks back, smoking his cigars and drinking his whiskey, Perkins singlehandedly takes care of the company's finances and administration. He's the bookkeeper, the health and safety officer, and even the legal advisor. He's also the one who disposes of the bodies after Mr Evil's finished shooting them. He doesn't have many vices of his own, but he appreciates a well-brewed coffee, and likes to indulge in a rich, medium-dark roast.


Although he doesn't personally approve of Mr Evil's illicit dealings, Perkins has worked at Evil & Sons for years. He's dedicated to his job, and treats all duties – big and small – as a matter of life and death. He's like part of the office furniture; an old and dusty grandfather clock, ensuring that the business runs efficiently. He's Mr Evil's only full-time employee, spare for Gonzo who works outside the office. The rest are all contractors – hired thugs and hitmen, normally – but Perkins ensures they treat the office like they would treat their own homes, telling them off for making loud noises or for getting mud on the carpets.

At home, Perkins is uncomfortable. He cherishes his wife and three children, but he's restrained when it comes to expressing emotions and affection. This puts a strain on his familial relationships. He likes to sneak off to his study, and begs Mr Evil for things to work on after hours. If he's ever forced to spend 'quality time' with his wife, he becomes agitated and constantly checks his mobile phone for messages from his boss. None of this is to say that he dislikes his family – he's just happier being a provider and a sheep, than a father and a patriarch.

Physical appearance

Physically, what can you say about Perkins? He's not much to look at, but his appearance is immaculate. He's a tall, thin man with pallid, greenish skin and a large, hooked nose. His hair is a dark brown thatch, neatly-cropped and just rightly combed. He's a tremendously busy man with matters more critical to attend to than standing in front of a mirror all day, so his lips are surrounded by five o'clock shadow. He wears glasses, and can't see a thing without them.

Even on his rare days off, Perkins is never seen wearing anything but one of his crisp, sharp business suits. These suits are nothing shy of spotless, and he's often seen standing about flicking specks of dust from his lapels. He has them tailor-made, stitched by hand to accommodate his slim figure, and he spares no expense in getting them professionally dry cleaned. He prefers dull tones of brown or grey, though he occasionally 'lets his hair down' with a coloured – but never patterned – tie.

Skills and abilities

When it comes to business administration, Perkins is a bit of a polymath. He's extremely well-educated – he holds several professional qualifications in statistics and accountancy, and took an evening refresher course in health and safety. His sense for timing is impeccable, and he's punctual to a fault. He's someone who 'punches in' at precisely nine o'clock – even when Mr Evil himself strolls into work minutes or sometimes even hours late. He ignores Mr Evil's comings and goings for the most part, and tries to keep his head down even when his hired goons carry out their hits in the office he just vacuumed.

As he's always pepped up on coffee, his senses and wit are second to none. He studied martial arts as an optional module at university, and he can look after himself when push comes to shove. He hides a pair of nunchucks in the drawer beneath his desk, and he's more than prepared to lay down his life defending the company he loves.